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Nate:
What's up, everybody? Welcome to the coach to coach Podcast, where we believe a coach can win with their team and in the home. I'm your host, Nate Sallee, and I'm pumped to launch this podcast to serve you. We're part of so many conversations with some amazing coaches around another Kentucky area, and this is a way where we can all learn from one another and grow in our leadership with our teams and personally with our families. This podcast is sponsored by the Northern Kentucky Fellowship of Christian Athletes. We're so grateful to our supporters and volunteers and make things like this podcast possible.  On the show today we have a very special guest when it's close to my heart. My wife, coach Katelyn Sallee. She's a Northern Kentucky gal, Simon Kenton graduate and Hall of Famer. She played tennis and volleyball. The high school level went on to Morehead State University, where we met my freshman year. She was an All American volleyball player on the court, played four years as a center and set in the right-side hitter her senior year than ever since she graduated, she has been in the coaching ranks with a little bit of gap, and she'll take a little bit more about that. But she has some great insight and things that she's learned along the way. She's incredibly open and shares her heart, and you're gonna love some of the ideas and perspectives that she has to offer. All right, so let's jump right in with our interview with my wife, Katelyn. All right, well, I want to welcome my wife, Caitlin, to the show, baby. Thanks for being on the call. 

Katelyn:
Yeah, course, this will probably come out. 

Nate: 
It'll be a little bit old news by the time this episode is released. But one of the reasons we're doing this conversation first is we're gonna have a baby any day now. And we are ready. We're full-term and can't wait to meet her third kid, But we're ready to talk a little bit of coaching.  I've already given our listeners a little bit of your playing background is something you're just career in general. But what got you interested in coaching in the first place and just share with them a little bit? of your coaching journey as a whole.his is the coach to coach podcast episode number one. Game time.  What's up, everybody? Welcome to the coach to coach Podcast, where we believe a coach can win with her team and in the home. I'm your host, Nate silly, and I'm pumped to launch this podcast to serve you. We're part of so many conversations with some amazing coaches around another Kentucky area, and this is a way where we can all learn from one another and grow in our leadership with our teams and personally with our families. This podcast is sponsored by the Northern Kentucky Fellowship of Christian Athletes. We're so grateful to our supporters and volunteers and make things like this podcast possible on the show Today we have a very special guest when it's close to my heart. My wife, coach Caitlin Silly. She's a Northern Kentucky gal, Simon Kitten, graduate and Hall of Famer. She played tennis and volleyball. The high school level went on to Morehead State University, where we met my freshman year. She was an All American football player on the court, played four years as a center and set in the right side hitter her senior year than ever. since she graduated, she has been in the coaching ranks with a little bit of gap, and she'll take a little bit more about that. But she has some great insight and things that she's learned along the way. She's incredibly open and shares her heart, and you're gonna love some of the ideas on perspective that she has to offer. All right, so let's jump right in with our interview with my wife, Caitlin. Silly. All right, well, I want to welcome my wife, Caitlin, to the show, baby. Thanks for me on the call. Yeah, course, this will probably come out. It'll be a little bit old news by the time this episode is released. But one of the reasons we're doing this conversation first is we're gonna have a baby any day now. And we are ready. We're full term and can't wait to meet her third kid, But we're ready to talk a little bit of coaching. Um, I've already given our listeners a little bit of your playing background is something you're just career in general. But what got you interested in coaching in the first place and just share with them a little bit? of your coaching journey as a whole.

Katelyn:
Yeah, I think, um, it really just goes into how much I've always loved the game on when it ended. As a player, there's a There's this, like, void of I need more valuable in my life And then you partner that with just were really what I feel like, um, the Lord is placed on my heart in terms of calling of teaching and mentoring young women. And so it was just the best of both worlds, really coming together in a cool way. Um, you know, I think when I look back at my first coaching job outside of I stayed at Morehead, you know, after my playing career in did some graduate assistant work. But my first job is a what, you know, really, being able thio control my own team and pick my own players and coach them was my first year teaching, and, you know, we we got married in July. We started our, um, our school year and my first year teaching. I was doing my internship through that, and then I also coached in that fall, and it was a swirly mess. I love coaching. I love being in the gym, But I just remember feeling like, really overwhelmed. And the balance was difficult. And so after that, it became, you know, we had really choose eyes. This going to be something I could dio on. And I took a couple years off coaching after that. So I was able to just kind of teach and be a wife. And we started We actually had our first son in that period, Um, and really kind of felt like I could get my bearings, figure out life, and then it was the right time. Happened again. Um, you know, start coaching. Once I stopped teaching, I think people could do it. Do it. Well, while they're doing everything, I just couldn't I didn't know how to do that. And so, um, but yeah, as soon as that door open back up again, it was, um, you know, full steam ahead. I was really excited, toe, especially that that was my first head coaching job at Highlands. And so, um, this is my fourth actually just turned in the corner and, um, about to be done with our fourth season. And, um, yeah, it's been a huge privilege and sent. Ah, really? I think in a lot of ways my saving grace I've felt more balanced. I felt more energizes a parent as a wife, I think because of coaching, because I feel like that's really where the Lord wants me right now.
Nate
I think you should never forget that first night you came back from. You are first year teacher host. It was even first day of school to first day of school. First of his school, first game away game our ish road trip down towards Louisville. You had left at gosh before 7 a.m. and got back. It was after 10 p.m. e forget you walking into the door closing it. And we're just like, what just happened? My life is over. Like, you know, I completely just pounced on. I'm not gonna have time for anything family wise. Like this is we kind of have an eccentric crisis there for a minute. It didn't last, but yeah, I definitely remember that attention very well. Very well.
Katelyn
Yeah, yeah, there were tears for sure. Um and I I think I'm I'm an emotional person. I'm also someone who goes all in in whatever area. And so that day at school and I got to school like an hour and 1/2 early just to be feel fully prepared. And then it was like, You know, your brain and your heart is like totally there. And then it was like a soon as school's out, you're on a bus for an hour, and I just remember walking in the door of our house and just thinking, I don't think I could Do you think
Nate
I could do
Katelyn
this? And I had another three months ahead of me and we figured it out. We did it, but it was definitely a challenge.
Nate
Yeah, that's awesome. I know that there's been I know it was probably tough for you to not coach those two years because in a perfect world, you would have that you took off while you were teaching. It was was pretty special. Justo have that turn of events for the diversity job opened up the exact same week that you took a break from teaching. I've loved seeing you guys as a mom is a wife, but also as a coach, I know a way have a lot of lot of fun and we have plenty of laughs at the house. But what are maybe one of the funniest moments you've had coaching, Or maybe an embarrassing little bit along the way? I just kind of just kind of give Ah, give a cool story there if you don't mind.
Katelyn
Um, well, there's a lot of things that happened that you just kind of chuckled are tryingto ignore that actually happen. But I think the one that came to mind was last year in our district emission. We hosted it. And, ah, it was against our arrival in the district and may. Actually, it's like the same Walt Highlands and NC and so same city. Always have tons of, you know, a big crowd for those games. Both student section's air pretty hyped in, um, they had their student section on the It was the second set, I believe may be the fourth said it was a long night, but they were on our bench side and they started mimicking me like I would I'm kind of, um I have a lot of quirky mannerisms. I'm up and down a lot of moving a lot. I squat a lot. I'm just kind of all over the place. And so I would literally squat down in the entire student sexual squat down and I would stand up, and I didn't notice it at first until my players kind of like, you know, fit me off. And, um And then I realized they were doing it, and it was actually like, Really, it was hilarious. But it was also, like, awesome because then I could control them. And I was like, I would much rather be me than my players. So I started, like just going up and down. I started cheering. They would cheer when we did something good. I don't think they feel they caught on that. That's what was happening until he started winning more points. But it
Nate
was becoming our our family.
Katelyn
I just change. I just turned you into a highland sand, so keep doing that. Not great. But yeah, that was And then I think the other one, this is this is definitely one of those under the radar. Things no one knows. Probably accept our staff. There was, I think, maybe a year or two ago. It's one of those things that has never died down We laughed about it all the time, but I think we're in Louisville and there was a bad call and I don't yell at refs. I'm not. It's not gonna be my thing, but I definitely will have a comment. He were there about a call to my coaches or whatever it's so there was a terrible call, a terrible call. And I turned to my assistant, Molly, and I said, That was a booty call and I didn't even e express myself in the moment of like, that was a bad call. And then she goes a booty call and we just lost a bad moment into one of the best stories. We laugh about it all the time. Um, so, yeah, probably quite good that not more people heard that. Although I'm no, I'm sharing it with the world, but, um yeah, way Have a fun time on the bench to
Nate
I could just imagine like going through this ref evaluation. Just anybody. Cool. Awesome. Well, I know, you know, we're it's a radio. We're both heavily involved with upstate, just with me being on staff, and we believe it's possible. We know it's not easy, but we believe it's possible toe have a winning team while also winning at home. We've We've had our our lessons learned and trial on air. But what, maybe share with them? What are some lessons that you've learned personally in the attention of managing family, life and country?
Katelyn
Yeah, well, I think going back a little bit too, Um, picking up kind of where I left off in my story of coaching, you mentioned it, But, um, you know, when I decided to take a couple years off, you know, even in my interview for at Highlands, I remember saying, You know, it's not a deal breaker. If I had to coach a sport, obviously it would love to coach volleyball, but I really feel like right now I need to take a setback and just be the very best teacher I could be in the very best wife I could be. I just knew I needed a season of focus. Um, and they granted that it was it was awesome. They really, um they gave me the space I needed in the time I needed to focus and pour into those particular areas. And then at the end of that second year was when we had true it, our first son. And so it became even more important that I had to that balance of learning how to be a mom and juggling all those other things. Um And then as soon as I decided it was a long really, it was a long process for me to decide whether or not to stay home. I had never envisioned myself doing that. Um, my mom worked as a teacher for over 30 years, and I never thought twice about that. Um, and then we just really kind of came to that decision as a couple and as a family. Um, you know, I went to my principal, who I know dearly loved and respected and just said, Hey, the only job I would ever leave this one for is to be a mom. And, um, this is the best job I've ever had. But, you know, I feel like I need Thio really start leaning into this job a little bit more and he fully was like, Oh, man, that's a bummer. But I totally support you, and I totally understand. And so that week the Highlands head coach had resigned after I resigned from teaching for the following school year. And so it was just this really interesting dynamic of I feel like the Lord honoring something in that I don't know exactly what, Like I said, everyone's story is different. I think ours just happened to be, um, this really cool combination of Okay, let's focus on being at home. Let's focus on raising this little boy and then also God blessing me with Hey, you're gonna need something else. Because the way you're wired, the way you're built, the way you're we have gifted you. Um, now is the time to also coach. And so, you know, we were really we're really kind of intimidated. At first. We didn't want to just quit one job to pick up another one. Um, especially because you paid as much. But I knew I just knew that we could do it and we could find that balance. And, um, that first fall coming back into your not teaching was difficult. It was such a weird transition of like, Okay, so no, I'm not getting up in the morning. I'm not going to work. Make my job is at home. My job is with my son, but to have valuable every day to go to the gym. Um, it was a lifesaver for me, and it really fueled me. And so in a lot of ways, it was kind of easy at first because I had all this time during the day. But four years in this. Every coach knows this job just compounds on itself, you know, it's there's so many things to dio. I mean, you could take this job and make it full time real fast. There's just so many opportunities to get better and grow as a team and as a program as a coach, professionally, that sometimes it's hard, you know, stop that bus for moving. And so I think the biggest thing we've learned is, um, you know, we have had to have, um, a lot of family conversations about K. What's gonna work best for us today? Today? Like what? When do I need to practice what's gonna be the most life giving for a family or the, um, the least exhausting for a family, you know? And so the other thing is trying to have dinner together during the fall. It's difficult you know, but we know that Hey, Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Like, I'm gonna be done by five. And we'll be able to have dinner together on game nights when you can go and bring the kids. And you were willing to put yourself through that with almost four year old at the time and not even 18 month old We started the season you were willing to sacrifice and do that. I think having you know, a spouse that is engaged in the process and understands so important to be supportive of of the other. Um, you know, we we aren't, you know, naive enough to think that you will be able to bring the kids to everything. But we take advantage of that as much as we can. You know, we want to view, um, not just my role as the head coach, you know, as a ministry for this team, but also our roles of family to be, you know, an active ministry with this team. So things like just having the girls around our kids and around our marriage, and, um, the conversations that can come from that and have come from that naturally are awesome. And it takes on extra work, you know, definitely can put more work on your plate, but I think it's worth it in the end. Um, and we're around each other more, you know, through that time. So I would just say involving the family when you can, when it makes sense and then not involving the family when it makes sense. You know, this year I think we've learned that better than ever. We have several tournaments out of town. We used to go. We're super committed. We're gonna We're gonna be that couple of it. They're always together, and the kids are always in the gym. And and that was just crazy
Nate
to think that that was a good idea. And so
Katelyn
this year, we were like, OK with a kid who can hardly walk and it was crawling around. It just doesn't make sense to have her in the gym for six hours. And so we started getting childcare and we had three tournaments. I think maybe where just you and I went and had this, like, awesome time where you could help be a part of the team. You know, you were filming for us. You were doing jobs you were driving for us. But ultimately, like we had weak a weekend together, it was like a date. You know, it's funny. It was a work weekend for me, but it was like this rest ful, totally like rejuvenating experience, where last year that same weekend was, like just terrible, not good at all. And so I couldn't be a fully a coach. I couldn't be fully a mom, and I just always felt tourney. And so I think it was just really wise of us. Tow to recognize. Hey, we can be all in at times and we need to also take breaks and give ourselves some opportunities to just be together, even if that's with our team. Um, you know, Sands kids. So I think those were just some just real practical things that we've learned about how to balance.
Nate
And I knew we were at a great place when the 80 that hired you. One of the first things he said was, You have to make whatever coaching stuff you have to make it work for your family like that was like a little first lines. He gave you freedom to do that. He realized that you need to prioritize that to make sure we're not smart neglecting your sacrificing in that on you said Monday, Wednesdays and Fridays, you're gonna be home by five. That might sound really for it. Some coaches you might just just for just for a quick second. Kind of explain why Friday's air more open than most.
Katelyn
Yeah, So that was kind of the original question When I sat down with, um deal. Mueller at the time was our 80 and who's a believer and a good man and obviously a long time super successful coach. And so I just had a lot of respect for him and what he had to say and offer. And, um and he was my boss. He hired me. And so I I remember asking him, Hey, so what was you know in the past? What did what has the whole little programme looked like in terms of, you know, weekly, uh, schedules And how many hours of a day, How many hours a week, like just kind of getting ballpark. And he very quickly just pointed me and reminded me to make it work for our family and to not compare to other, other coaches or other, they just out how things have always worked. But just going. What do you think is best for your program and your family? And I just really love that. I felt like immediately that gave me a sense of, um, Comfort Thio to make those judgment calls. A Someone who knows the game, but also someone who knows what Mar limits are as a family. And so, you know, a lot of people coach when they're young, like post college. And then as soon as you start having kids, they quit. And then when their kids are older, they start coaching again, and we've done it totally backwards. S o. We are my decisions. They're gonna look different than someone who's, you know, 50 years old and has kids in college. It's just gonna look different. And so we decided to, um, not practice on Friday. So we do every now and then. You know, we've got the district tournament right now and regionals and we've gotta have some extra prep days in the gym. But in general, are girls have, unless it's a tournament. They have Fridays off, and so and I view that as a gift in a valuable thing for them, but also just and their families. You know, I think, Ah, lot of times it's that's overlooked. But, hey, I want to give my kids an opportunity if their parents so choose to be together with them and have dinner with their families, really throughout the week And this well's on Fridays and entering the weekend. Um, but I I value that off day so much. You know, I feel like we go really hard Monday through Thursday in the gym. We have a lot of matches during the week. We have a lot of you have a lot of weekend tournaments, you know, And so the Fridays that we have off, we really value. Um, and I can kind of shut down coach mood. I think that's really important. You know, I hear a lot from just any professional, whether it's a coach or not. But just when you walk in the home like how do I shut off a little bit? How do I engage with my family now? I need to be with my family now, as opposed to still in that headspace of work in you know, professionalism or all of all of that. But video? Yeah, there's so much work. It doesn't end particularly. I feel like it. Zade. I have all this extra time because I'm not a full time employees somewhere else. But because I don't have a regular office or or space throughout my week, it's really easy for that to stuff. Tow the leak into my time with my kids. And so to have a day where I know I can be with them has always been a huge blessing. It's
Nate
also been deal. I know we've talked especially last 23 years, and we've all known it, I guess. But we're just seeing it firsthand, more and more just that influence on the impact that coach can have athletically and in the lives of the players. So for you, who are maybe one or two coaches that you've played for that have made a difference in your life and maybe maybe why,
Katelyn
Yeah, it was, I thought, through that question, um, I feel like there's each level of my development. Someone played a huge role in in building confidence from a building, um, emotional maturity and physical maturity, and so I'd say it starts at the level of like, early, like middle school where I just began playing and I hadn't had these mentors who weren't necessarily my actual coach or who were, like, you know, doing lineups in this in that But people who I had volleyball knowledge who saw me play family friends, things like that who just really out of just the goodness of their heart and the excitement they had for me to develop, poured into me, you know? And so I had John Long, who was a long time, nor the Kentucky Volleyball really fan. But he has helped coach on a volunteer basis for years with Beechwood. Um, yeah, he got grew up with him, a church. He was a Sunday school teacher of mine from the third grade on s. So when I became, you know, more athletic and more just kind of in that school age where I was playing on teams, he would, you know, once a month we'd go to the church and he just pepper with me and he would just kind of pour into me. It's just let me know I was worth it, that I had skills that were, um maybe just just ah, little bit of love. What he saw in my peers and just really gave me the confidence in the encouragement to keep going until work hard. Steve Williams, who was another family friend? He was. Ah, he's a northern Kentucky boy. Lives in Florida now, But, um, just really again pouring into me and just giving me time was so important. And so I remember that to this day, Any time we're playing a kid at a rival school and I just go, man, they've got something special. I just often times like, I just say that to them because I think those words from somebody outside of your own coaching staff can go a really long way to develop that confidence in excitement to the game. And so then he goes In the high school, I had a, um, the same coach through high school, my entire crew, which is a huge blessing. A lot of people can't say that from eighth grade through my senior year was Julie Claire, who is an Al Julie Clear Chris. But she was. She's a hilarious, just down to earth country girl, but knew the game and love the game. And I think the biggest asset, the biggest way that she impacted me, was giving me, um, giving me the rain's really, I mean, I was a freshman. I was the varsity center and she gets she had faith in me. So just giving, giving me her face. And, um, we're putting her faith in me and just giving me an opportunity to lead. And I just learned how to lead a team from that early oven age all the way through, and I really value that. I never I don't think I ever took that for granted. Um, so many areas of my life were better because I was given those chances to learn how to lead a group of people. Um, and then as soon as you go to college, it was like it's just such a game changer. I remember I had been coached. You had good coaches through high school, but but I remember getting to college and looking around and and no longer being one of the best in the gym, where you know, a lot of times you can feel that way in high school or middle school. But going? I do. I even belong here. It might be my cut out for this. Um, do I have the same level of skill that these girls d'oh! And quickly realizing I was gonna have to learn a lot, you know, I was gonna have to be trained. And, um, I just Completely, thankfully to my parents, they always They always really pushed me to do this, but just to trust my coaches, trust that they know what they're doing, buy into their system. And that worked. You know, I had Jamie Gordon. Who's that? Who's still the head coach at Morehead State and Chris Grunwald, who was the associate head coach who's now at UConn. Just man completely wreck me. In a lot of ways, I had to re learn how to do things. I, um I totally had a had an injury. I had a A C. L injury. My freshman year. Yes, I was setting. I was a starting starting center and I had an A C L injury that took me out for the whole season, so I had to learn. I just had to sit in a chair for six months and set the ball against a wall and really relearned how I even just touched the ball. And they coach me in every single mechanical way to do things differently. And it was difficult but so good. I learned a lot about my own skill set and how to make that better. But also, it's hung about the game. I really became a student of the game, learning how Thio coach. I think that was my biggest, biggest thing Looking back now, the way I coach is so similar to what? The way they coached. And, um, I always tell him I'm so appreciative of that because my girls get a little bit of them every year. And, uh, I think that's a huge blessing. Tow my my girls because I I didn't have that until college. And so um yeah, all those coaches huge impacts for sure for
Nate
me when you were talking that it hit me as well for the first time. But even all the way back in the eighth grade, you were forced into slash given ability to kind of be the leader in kind of the coach on the court, and I know that's something that you were forced to do. You said it in colleges did not just, you know, look over to the coach and get an answer, but he would. He would teach you how to think and teach you how to process things kind of in real time on that something that you obviously can do now is a coach and are trying to instill another. That's just been just something to hit me, too, that I think that's one of the reasons you've been able to grow so much as you were given that chance and you were forced to to think through that, you mentioned faith. A little bit of a different contacts with Julie were any time we're working with with public schools of FC, and we always want to be mindful of boundaries and church and say conversational, that good stuff. So we definitely play within the rules there, but more, more so we talked with coaches a lot about the purpose behind their coaching or the why behind it. We're all driven by something. Sometimes it's healthy, sometimes it's not. But what is your why, I guess for coaching, and how does your faith impact your purpose behind touching the way you can.
Katelyn
Oh, man. Um, I don't even know how to answer that question. Apart from faith, you know, I feel like that is why I coach, you know, I think everybody everybody, every coach would say, you know, we wanna win. But I think it's so much bigger than that. I don't think I would give my time. Um, or I would sacrifice the time for my family and the energy and the workload that it is to coach if it wasn't for something bigger than records. You know, I think, um, not at this stage in my life, there's just too many other things to juggle. And so I have to remember that, like, if I ever get to a point where I'm not working to mold hearts, um, and to expand the kingdom of God and a gym like, what am I doing? Why is it why would it be worth that, um, that time to do it any other way. And so I definitely think it impacts me. Um, you know, like I said, early on, I feel like the Lord gave me a very clear calling, too. In every opera in every moment in every situation, whether it's professional relation, a ll, you know, with your family, with friends, whatever with strangers. If there's an opportunity to speak truth, love to guide, to share your story, um, that we should take advantage of these opportunities, that that's really everyone's job. That's our calling. And so I just think it's an awesome opportunity that I get to do that every day to an audience that is eager to listen. You know, I think that's been the best part of coaching for me is that I have right now the end of the season. I got 13 girls on my Ross my varsity roster who every day have have my I have their ear and, um, you know, whether it's because they love me most, I think most of them do. But even even if it's just from a respect, you know, the lens of respect of Hey, I'm I'm determining playing time. I'm I'm coaching you. I'm giving you guidance on the court. They hear me. And, um, I this has got such an opportunity to model hunt to speak truth. And yeah, I wouldn't I don't think I'd coach if I if I wasn't able to do that
Nate
absolutely. And you get to speak life into your players just like you had life spoken into you by John and all these other people that that kind of built into you. There is a there's a ton of power in your words and I've seen that firsthand. It's been really, really amazing to watch moving ahead real quick. You know, shifting gears just to look at from it may be a leadership perspective. What's maybe one leadership principle that you learned during your time? That's really helped you kind of in your coaching journey. That's a pretty
Katelyn
big question. So I had to really think about it was probably yeah, but I think the biggest thing and this might be a really broad answer, so you may have to make me have to dig into it a little bit, but just intentionality in leadership, you know? So I think so often, Um, I know my first. Particularly like my first year. I just felt so like there's so many logistical question marks and I don't even know how to run a run a team. How do I schedule matches? How do I just all of these things that you don't even know how to dio. Um, you're just trying to make it. You know, you're trying to keep her head above water. And so by my fourth year, I feel like this is like the first year where I have just been more free. Thio really dig into more of the intangible stuff. I've done it in other years, but I didn't feel as it was almost like it was just harder This year. I've been like, really, um I'm almost unleashed to just be more intentional and focus on How do I I love these girls? Um, like, intentionally not not accidentally or not randomly but daily in a moment by moment. How do I take advantage of every single opportunity? And so, um, you know, I think, for example, when I have players who, um aren't playing a lot or who are getting pulled here and there for different different things, like, how do I communicate their value outside of playing time? You know, that's ah, that's a difficult thing to do. Every coach you know has to deal with that of the kid that doesn't feel like you like them just because they're sitting or because you're pulling them. But how do I continue to get my girls understand? I love you apart from what you can do for me on the court, you know? And, um I think that comes from a lot of intentional thought. You know, I have to think about Okay, when I have practice coming up the following day from a match. And something's happened in a match that I could see potentially, you know, weaseling their way into the minds of my players. How doe I coached him through that. You know, how do I not just coach their their arm swings and their footwork? But how do I really teach them how to think through things with truce and not allow lies too? Um, you know, permeate and effects their lives because it's ultimately so much bigger than valuable. I know that if a kid in the season with me and they feel like they have been worthless, that's going to affect how they live their life. And so I want to make sure that in every opportunity I have, whether it's to build up or to keep from crumbling down, that I'm taking it Um And so I think the other thing would be with my coaching staff. It's so important to be on the same page. Have the right people in your corner, but also to not just think about it. Who do I need to hire? Who's the right person I need to hire to be on my staff, but then coaching them, you know, Thio to use similar language. Thio Hey, are are we seeing things the same way? What's your philosophy? Whats mine? Um and then just continue to have those intentional conversations, inviting them into things where they're hearing how I handle conflict there. They're hearing, whether it's with a parent or or player administrators air. How do we as a whole as a as a program, handle things because what you do will reflect on me anyway? And so I want to make sure that there's no question about how we deal with things within our program and and, you know, at the same point at the same time, you know, I've got amazing my staff is We joke about it all the time, I tell him and found a joke. They might think. I'm joking. I'm not that I have the best staff in Northern Kentucky. These these ladies were just, um They give me a CZ. Anything I need, they'll do. They'll go above and beyond, and and we like each other, which is always nice, but tohave these people who are coaching young girls who are eventually going to be with the varsity program, I want them to be, you know, preparing the way that I want my girls to be prepared. And so I can't expect them to do that if I'm not being intentional with them as well. So just leading them to lead the girls in a way that will have them be prepared.
Nate
Yeah, that's great. I remember we were. I guess it might. Have you been back in the back in the spring? We were. It was a light night, and somehow we kind of got on this binge, if you will, of your talking through practice schedules and how we want to handle this and getting these templates together and plan this lock in that you've done to try to, you know, kind of do some team building early on And how we're gonna roll this out and I've really seen you grow in that and I've watched you. You keep using the word intentional, I think, actually what it boils down to, Um, I think we're seeing some of the some of the good results of that as well. It's been
Katelyn
good. Yeah, and I still there's so much more to tap into. I've learned there's and that's what I've said. It never ends. There's always more ideas. Esso and I could be very quickly overwhelmed. I can have all these amazing ideas and being super excited, and you help me with that. It's a huge part of something I love about you. And our marriage is that you are super involved in all these discussions. You don't just bend your ear to me to listen. But you actually are engaged in, you know, finding solutions to problems or, um, how do I How do I How could it be more intention with my words or with my actions? And so, yeah, that night, when you're what you're talking about, when we were just bingeing like I think it was like December, it wasn't even like anywhere near this season. But we were just like brain brainstorming all those things and it ended up. You know, we got into a document and I was able to have a meeting with my coaches and including middle school staff and just like all right, I think this is what we need to be about this year and having a conversation like that in December and January whenever it waas is so exciting because then you can start to really it instead of trying addition. And I've done this to totally dropped the ball where I'm like, Oh, I got this really great idea. And now we have to do it tomorrow. But to really take a second and thinks through, Man, how did this year go? And what are the things that were awesome about this year? And what were the things that were totally terrible and or what are the things that we didn't even touch, you know, and do we have the energy to do that next year? And who gets that? How do I delegate that or, um, you know, and so we had those meetings and it became easier to to execute these ideas,
Nate
you know? Absolutely well, let's kind of wrap it up. One final question. Figured back maybe to that first season, or that that just part of your life. If you had just maybe one minute thio encourage a brand new coach who's just now getting rolling. I know there's a 1,000,000 things you would love to have, you know, 10 different meals with him and didn't give it download. But what would you tell him? Maybe just one or two things to encourage a brand new coach getting started,
Katelyn
I would say, um, ask more questions, assume less, assume that you know less things and ask more questions. Um, you know, ask for help, whether it's from your, uh, your A D or your administrative staff or other coaches in your school. Um, you know, how do you guys survive? How do you do game nights? How do you do practice and not say compare or thio to be completely the same, but eight give you ideas to empower you, Um, and you don't to recreate the wheel. I think that was a lot. I thought a lot of pressure to do that, Um, and so you asking for help on the other thing? I think this is just so true of really any job. But I just like coaches are so vulnerable to this, um, to not worry about pleasing everybody. Um, we have to be grounded. We have to. We want to be. We want to be like I get that that's that's that's human nature. But, um, when it begins to creep into how we make decisions and when it begins to change our judgment and cloud our judgment, whether it's trying to please every single player or please every single parent or please every single coach, your plan against her or whatever, you know, I think I've learned that the hard way I've I've tried to do that. I've tried to please people, and when it doesn't work out, it's devastating because you're going. I tried. I tried, Um, you just never will. And so I think what I'm trying to sit in and rest in now is, and I do with The Lord has wanted me to d'oh. You know I am I walking in obedience and, um, sometimes it's big decisions, right? Sometimes it's like it's super clear, like faith based stuff, and sometimes it's just your lineup. Or sometimes it suggests, you know, we run tournaments and it's how do I do that? Don't do that well. And, um, but still in in the big and the small, Really? Just asking the Lord for guidance. And if you were honoring him and if you are, do you feel like is right then I think there needs to be confident moving forward and security in that. I think we could be really insecure and allow our actions to be kind of muddled by those people pleasing tendencies so coaches will suffer and struggle and drowned if we try to please everybody. Um, it's just not possible.
Nate
I love that humble enough to have a growth mindset. Be asking questions, being a student, being secure and shoot. I mean, you know, there's a lot of time alone troubles of trying to please everybody and just never seemed to work out. There's always some hole in that plan. At some point down the road, Uh, no matter how hard we
Katelyn
can and you know I will add, I will add to that something I've learned maybe more this year than ever. Um, you growth have a growth mindset. Be humble. Um, don't please everybody. But when there is in conflict to deal with it swiftly. Um, you know, I think too often things things go, you know, we don't want to please everybody where we can't please everybody. We know that. So we could go to one extreme or the other. We can try really, really hard to please everybody. Where we going to say, Well, screw you. I don't care. I'm gonna do it my way. And so we have to be Don't we have to be balanced always right in operating in truce and operate in love and and so when there's someone that's hurt or offended or whether it's whether it's valid or not, Um, it's wise to handle this those situations swiftly. I've learned that, um, this is just kind of Ah, this is a more tangible practical thing. But, um, I directly call people or have face to face meetings and people. If there's something that there's an issue with the parents of Set and I get a not awesome email, um, I just refuse to deal with his three mil. It's just not gonna go. Well, um, and I'm not going to. My heart will not be heard. And, um, I need to just talk to you. We need to have a conversation. And so that's That's another leadership principle. I think I've learned this year more than ever. It's just dealing directly with conflict, face to face and not letting things become bigger than they need to be, you know, patching things up before they sink your ship. Kind of, um is really important to
Nate
you, absolutely. And for me, I just remember just all the assumptions I know I can make on my end when I'm really get texture and email, our social media poster. My interpretation of that is not in full control of who sent that out. But it's way more likely. I'm gonna hear that person, their heart behind it. When I'm like you said on the phone, or let's face to face, it takes more courage. It's a little bit more of a hassle, but I agree. We've seen we should be good stuff come from that as well. Well,
Katelyn
there's, you know, there's truth. Thio trying to preemptively take care of those things. You know, there's there's power in that, like I've do apparent meeting every year, and I every year I say the number One thing I need from my parents is trust. Trust me that I love your daughter. I know that I can't probably love her as much as you did. I get that as a parent, but I love I love your daughter and that my my intention is never to hurt her. It's always for growth, and it's always for our team. And so if you don't believe that, then the decisions I make you will see them through a lens of hostility instead of trust. And so I think that's a good thing to say. But I think it's also a really important thing to re reinstated. Just say it over and over again. And so when I have a parent come to me who's angry or something, I have to just remind them of. I love your daughter and that's and that's weird. I think it's so interesting, like people aren't ready to hear that. Sometimes from coaches, they're like, What do you mean? I don't You know that
Nate
thing is weird, huh? OK. You
Katelyn
love her? No, Like I really d'oh! I wouldn't do this. I wouldn't do this job. I wouldn't take time away from my own family. My own kids I love if I didn't love your daughter and so does that always mean the decisions I make will feel good and will know it won't. But I hope you understand that, you know, And then you just go into that. So I think continuing thio, um, just set that as a tone has helped me. Um, I hope in some ways retained some respect and some trust.
Nate
Yeah, I think it has. Well, then I love you. I appreciate you. Thank you for not making me a I don't even know what the male term of volleyball be. Some people say football widow are I'm not a not a volleyball male. Widows wear. Yeah, uh, that we've done this together that you've been open on drily sure showed your heart. Do you see you bloom and you're in. I really feel like you're in a great in a great spot in your in your lane when you're on the sidelines going crazy. Even if you got a few people, get a michigan, you're doing all that. Then it started to get a good story. But thanks for taking time again. Yeah, she we're gonna have a baby any single day now. So even if you're not super comfortable at the moment, But I appreciate you push it through and on helping us get this started. Well,
Katelyn
we're goal is. Ah. After Thursday, we got a district championship to win. So hopefully I'll be able to be crazy and still pregnant in the silence tomorrow night.
Nate
That's the plan. That's about all right. Thanks so much. Thanks again. So much to Caitlin for taking the time to share her heart and give a lot of what drives her and some ideas. There some good takeaways. I hope you're able Thio be inspired by a couple. The ideas on how to manage coaching life and family life and some leadership thoughts along the way. We're excited to have more episodes and more interviews coming up as we get rolling. It would mean the world to us if you would subscribe that way. You two get a notification every time that we come out with a new episode. So you want to make sure you don't miss the future episodes that are coming out. Also, if you're on iTunes, if you would take 60 seconds to leave us a review that would really help us kind of get off the ground and get the word out about this great content coming year olds way you like them or have more information about F c A. You go to www dot in k Y f c a dot org's. We're also gonna work out having maybe some show notes on that would be in K Y F c a dot or GE slash podcast until next time keep growing. Keep learning. Keep changing lives on your team and in your home.
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